Being a Woman’s Woman (Not a Girl’s Girl) in Today’s Savage World

Being a woman’s woman means calling out the chaos and choosing character over clout. Before we can demand better from the men, we need to be better to each other. Period.

Author: Kali Kay

from the pages of the — Dirty30Diaries

Let’s get one thing straight:

I’m not a “girl’s girl.” I never have been. I don’t do cliques, I don’t do performative friendships, and I don’t do the kind of surface-level support that disappears the moment things get uncomfortable. I don’t do fake brunch friendships where Lexi is side eye’n Rachel, and Ann is getting slouched because she can’t stand to be in the same room as Susize. And we All know that by the end of the day we’re going to go home to our quaint little houses where things are far from perfect, and Alex is going to call Rachel and talk down about Lexi, and Rachel is going to talk down about Ann, and in six months down the line we’ll do it all over again because on the outside we’re friends, and on the inside we really just want to be that little girl that’s liked. I am not that girl. I just  don’t do the kind of loyalty that disappears the moment things get messy. 

What I am is a woman’s woman—and in today’s world, that’s a rare breed, but  that distinction matters more than ever.

Real Women, Real Standards, Real Talk. - Let's get to the down and dirty...

If we want men to act right, we’ve got to stop acting like we’re still in high school. If we want to fix the problem with dating, and men in this generation. We have to admit " Hi, I'm part of the problem -- It's me." It starts with fixing our generations version of sisterhood before we fix the men. We have to adopt a mindset where loyalty can meet legacy --- and petty gets left behind. From Love Island to low standards—this is your wake-up call, sis. We're not allowing the girl's girl mentality to continue warping our generations, we're modeling what it means to be a grown woman's woman. We’re not just raising standards—we’re rewriting the rules.

#1: What is a girl's girl, and why it makes a difference?

#2: What it means to be a Woman's Woman

#3: This one is for the women ready to rise

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#1: What is a girl's girl and why it makes a difference.

A girl’s girl is often defined by loyalty to the group, by shared aesthetics, by being “one of the girls.” She’s there for the likes, but not necessarily the authenticity. It becomes quantity over quality. Picture Regina George, but meaner. But a woman’s woman? She’s built different. A woman’s woman shows up. She tells you the truth, even when it’s hard to hear. She’s the one who shows up when your world is falling apart. She claps for your wins, sits with you in your losses, and doesn’t need to tear you down to feel taller. She doesn’t compete—she collaborates. She doesn’t gossip—she guards your name when you’re not in the room. She’s not here to be liked by everyone. She’s here to be real.

Let’s talk about why that matters so much—especially now.

We are living in a generation that has gone absolutely savage in the dating scene. The values our grandmothers held? Slipped right out the door like a petticoat. The standards our grandfathers upheld when they courted women with intention, respect, and actual effort? Gone. What do we see now? It's been replaced by ghosting, breadcrumbing, and TikTok therapy sessions about “situationships., and avoidants.” We’ve got women proudly taking other women’s men, bashing strangers on “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” like it’s a sport, and watching shows like Love Island as if they’re aspirational instead of cautionary tales. We’ve lost the plot—and all the standards.

And don’t get me started on the high school behavior that still runs rampant in our 30s. Petty comments disguised as compliments. Passive-aggressive shade on social media. Fake smiles in person followed by group chat slander. We hurt other women out of jealousy, insecurity, or spite—and then wrap it in glitter and call it “just being honest.” It’s not honesty. It’s toxicity dressed up in lip gloss.

#2: What it means to be a Woman's Woman

Being a woman’s woman means I’ve had to learn to outgrow the need to be liked by everyone. I’m not here to be palatable. I’m here to be real. I’ve learned that not every smile is sincere, not every brunch invite is genuine, and not every “I’m here for you” comes with action. So I stopped chasing approval and started building relationships rooted in depth, honesty, and mutual respect.

It also means I’ve had to walk away from friendships that felt more like performances than partnerships. I’ve had to choose solitude over shallow company. And I’ve had to learn that being a woman’s woman sometimes means being misunderstood—because not everyone is ready for the kind of love that holds you accountable, lifts you up, and refuses to let you settle.

In a world that often celebrates the curated version of connection—the Instagram friendships, the “girl boss” brunches, the matching outfits—I celebrate the messy, meaningful, soul-deep bonds that come from being a woman who supports other women through everything. The kind of woman who will fix your crown without announcing it. The kind who will pray for you, fight for you, and remind you of your worth when you forget it yourself.

#3:This one’s for the women who are ready to rise

If we’re going to call out the men who are an abomination to the way our grandpas used to court—if we’re going to fix marriages, break generational curses, and raise the bar for how men show up—we have to start with us. We can't get better men, better love, and better standards— if we don't start with us. No more petty shade, stolen boyfriends, or fake friendships.

We have to stop glamorizing chaos and start honoring character. We have to stop tearing each other down and start building each other up. We have to stop being “girl’s girls” who follow the crowd and start being women’s women who lead with integrity. We can’t raise the bar for men if we’re still tearing each other down. From petty shade to dating chaos, it’s time we lead with legacy—not likes.

Being a woman’s woman means choosing depth over drama. It means choosing healing over hurting to hurtle over others. It means choosing legacy changes over social media likes. It’s not always popular, but it’s always powerful.

So if you’re tired of the games, the gossip, and the glitter-covered garbage—welcome. You’re not alone. We’re building something better. We’re building something stronger than trends—we’re building legacy, loyalty, and love that lasts.

It starts with us.

— Until Next Time, Kali Kay

Follow more: @Dirty30Diaries